What a glorious Fall this has been. The colors were magnificent this year and the air crisp and clean. The promise of a new year is closing in and with it the wonder of the unknown. Just when you think you’re free from the past – it comes back to bite you in a text. Can we ever find comfort in the past and live fully in the not knowing what the future brings?
I ruminate, I write, I do – all of which to say is I try to live most fully, most ethically, most rightly for myself.
I am not a simple person living in a complicated world. I am fraught, at times, with anguish – negativity, regret. What we do with all of that is what matters, not that we ‘have’ it. It’s not us, just synapsis firing at random. We are not the diagnosis – that’s just a way of simply talking amongst ourselves hoping for a shared understanding.
Really, if you want to understand – listen between the words, discard the labels and be thankful you are who you are in all your glory.
Is a promise of nothing, a promise of something?
Let’s define a promise. Let’s say a promise is a concept predicated on a statement, deed or behavior not ever to be broken. So a promise of nothing or of ‘no something’ is a promise void of direction, focus or goal. Let’s say an agreement is a legal term for a promise. Is what we exchange in commitment vows a promissory note of something and, what is that something that we are promising?
Pre-nuptials spell out something related to tangible goods, but what are we spelling out with our promises?
What is the something never to be broken? Is a promise of nothing or something ever good enough when not spelled out?
Well no, I guess that’s not completely true. I have a collection of short stories entitled ‘Conversations’ (to be published posthumously – with the profits going to every starving, rescued, needing to be neutered animal large or small out there on FB). So, (and I understand beginning a sentence with SO has become acceptable grammar, right AEF?) I’m ready to share my observations about relationships. Names have been changed omitted or forgotten. Resources are now a vague memory, because I’m sure this stuff has been said before (thank you Mr. Rogers), but the context often escapes me or gets confused with actual life experiences of mine. So briefly:
By far, the most relevant relationship is the one we nurture and abuse with ourselves. In a planet too close to its demise for daily comfort, we humans think of ourselves as somehow special, entitled, smarter than the rest – you get my drift. Since none of us gets out of here alive (and it is a true observation of mine that in a large crowd, I take solace in knowing that all these people will be dead one day when I think I will be too) and, what I’m really embarrassed to share is this – when I realize that important people die too, I feel a surge of confidence in my ability to do it without a big deal. Anybody else out there thinking this way? Maybe not.
So here’s the point. Take care of yourselves while you are here, it’s a time limited journey and even if you do (believe in) reincarnate the chances are slim to none you’ll remember any of what you have learned this time around – it gets too confusing and all you get are glimpses anyway.
In my Second Blog, I’ll talk more about how I think we should do that Yoda, Mr. Yamaguchi, Pema Chodron and Wayne Dyer thing.