May I?

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May and June.

The absence of the usual. Undergrounded. Suspended in another reality to lament. How to find meaning in the awful, the absurd, the uncalled for, the necessity.

I’m sick with me. Down for the count. Sick and dumb. Because if you think one way, thinking another doesn’t happen.

I am homesick for me. I’m here feasting on that royal burger, twisting the night away and knowing the difference between a $5 milkshake and bullshit.

Love you Quentin.

Was There A March?

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Loosening or strengthening connections or are we managing, floating or outright avoiding? People take notice, pay attention – is it environmental stressors or the choices we’ve made or refuse to accept. Is it the fear of loss and aloneness or is it the imagination of an overthinking eccentric hellbent on creating head drama, feeling alive, loved and adored? Which is the most economically sound emotional position? What is your core issue, your bottom line and does it change over time?

People take notice – was there a March?

The Agony and The Ecstasy, Truth and Redemption, Karma and Atman

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Love doesn’t hold on, Don’t lie to yourself, Damn, I don’t want to repeat this shit.
So I asked my best friend to help me understand the other person; I’ve trusted his good judgment, his perspective unlike mine – for years. And, for years he’s listened to my agony and ecstasy, desire for truth and redemption and believe you me ‘I can’t make this stuff up’.
We’ve woven our lives together through the exchange of escapades, mind f***ks, free associations and ridiculous
scenarios. We’re also careful not to bruise one another when we think we know what to say to help. There is absolute respect between us and his suffering is mine, maybe mine also his.
He bought himself a day old box of heart shaped chocolates; I bought myself a dozen beautiful roses. We know how to take care of ourselves through the potential storms, the accepted disappointments, the tsunamis.
We make the connection, we trust the connection, we check in and ask the hard questions.
We never have to ask ‘Do you love me’.